I had a miscarriage at 21. I was nowhere NEAR ready for motherhood. Physically, mentally, financially, or any other -lly you can think of! But I was ready and willing to figure it out!
I was diagnose with PCOS at 14 so I knew my chances of miscarriage were high. I tried to pretend there was nothing in there...Even after seeing the heartbeat. Hopefully if I can trick myself into believing it's not there I won't get attached...Right?
For the most part, it worked, until I found ... myself holding my belly in the middle of the night crying to whatever God would listen, pleading to save whoever it was that was inside of me.
In this article he says "It was such a quiet thing..."
Waiting, bleeding, in the hospital bed. Silence.
Being pushed in a bed through the hospital to the ultrasound room. Silence.
Watching the tech poke and prod around, looking for something that's no longer there. Silence.
"The heartbeat is gone isn't it?" Silence.
"It's over. Don't talk to me about it" was the text message I sent to my family when I got home that night. Silence.
I felt like my life was silent for a long time afterwards. I was just moving through my life, suffering silently...By choice.
There was a lot of guilt and shame associated with failing at the ONE THING my body is "SUPPOSED" to be able to do, which is why I think a lot of women can't or choose not to talk about it.
But once I started talking about it, I started healing. I encourage anyone suffering from the aftermath of a miscarriage to open up...To ANYONE. For me, I had to push the pause button on my life. For me it was a therapist that helped me forgive myself and my body for something I had no control over. Dorris Wedding wedding selections of chiffon fabric
Don't allow yourself to suffer silently any longer.See More